Over and Over
by BackpackBetsy
Summary: Jogan fic. Julian finds Logan all drugged up and tries to connect to him in the best way he can think of: through song. It turns out that they have more in common when it comes to romance problems than perhaps they realize.


**A/N:** Just a little something that's been bouncing around my head. (:

Characters belong to CP Coulter, Glee belongs to its owners, the song belongs to Three Days Grace, and the story is mine!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Julian knew Logan. He knew him in the sort of way that could only come from years of friendship, years of celebrating the good and putting up with the bad and everything in between. From years of sticking with him through it all, because that's what friends do and that's what Julian was: a friend.<p>

Never more, never less.

So when Julian went to find Logan one dreary Sunday, when everyone else was either holed away doing last minute homework for Monday's classes or else doing things the actor couldn't be bothered with, Julian knew exactly where his friend was.

He checked the blonde's bedroom, but the minute he turned the knob and found the room unlocked and empty, he knew where to go.

He also knew what condition he would find Logan in. If Logan wasn't in his bedroom and the room was unlocked, it was because he had taken his medication. The medicine numbed everything, including Logan's normally good sense about the havoc that could be wreaked on a perfectly good unlocked room.

Julian knew that Logan very rarely left his room when he was drugged up, but there was only one place he would go.

So, when Julian walked into the Warbler's choir room, he wasn't the least bit surprised to find Logan sitting at the piano.

"Hey there," Julian called amiably, sliding his headphones from his ears to hang loosely around his neck. Logan grunted without turning, recognizing the actor's voice instantly. Julian's smile didn't falter at Logan's ambivalence-he was used to far worse. Instead, he loped over to the piano and took a seat on the bench next to his friend. Logan poked at a few keys, stopping before the melody could form enough for Julian to identify the song.

"What do you want?" Logan asked after a few moments of silence. Julian shrugged.

"Just thought you could use some company," he said simply. Logan's eyes drifted to the boy next to him, resting on his face for a moment before his gaze when to the keys.

"I can't think of anything I want to play," he admitted finally. He pushed a hand through his hair, then poked at a few more keys. The corners of his lips twitched but he didn't smile. "Any requests?"

Julian studied his friend for a moment. It wasn't that he liked Logan like this. One of Logan's better qualities was his spark of life, so long as that spark didn't erupt into a wildfire. Still, when Logan was all drugged up, it was easier for Julian to sneak glances at the blonde's handsome features without those piercing green eyes noticing.

Julian leaned back slightly, almost shamelessly staring at Logan as he considered the question.

"Alright, I've got one," he said, leaning forward and pulling out his iPod. He selected the song and took off his headphones, holding the earpiece to Logan. After a few seconds, Logan recognized the song and gave a short laugh, or something that would have been a laugh if laughs were cold and bitter.

"How appropriate," Logan said with a sneer. Julian's smile froze and he shook his head.

"Isn't it though?" he murmured. It was actually a little funny, the actor thought, the way they could both relate to the songs in different ways.

Logan tested out a few of the keys, and once it seemed he had the melody and pitch to his liking, started playing. Julian watched his friend's hands glide effortlessly across the piano keys, and almost without thinking, he began to sing.

"_I feel it every day it's all the same  
>It brings me down but I'm the one to blame<br>I've tried everything to get away-"_

Logan joined in, much to Julian's surprise, harmonizing effortlessly with the actor.

_"So here I go again  
>Chasing you down again<br>Why do I do this?  
>Over and over, over and over<br>I fall for you  
>Over and over, over and over<br>I try not to-"_

The boys' version of the song was softer; subdued just like Logan while he was on drugs or Julian's feelings for Logan when they were together. Still, the emotion was there, each bringing their own baggage, their own personal pain to the song. Logan took up the second verse, with Julian adding the harmony just like in the last verse.

"It feels like everyday stays the same  
>It's dragging me down and I can't pull away<br>So here I go again  
>Chasing you down again<br>Why do I do this?-"

Julian snuck a look at Logan and knew exactly what his friend was thinking. Logan was picturing Kurt with Blaine, thinking of the emotions he wanted to fight but couldn't help experience, feeling alone and like there wasn't anyone who really understood why the whole situation was so hard for him. All the while, the one person who really knew what he was going through was with him, feeling the exact same things and being just as afraid of his emotions as Logan was.

"Over and over, over and over  
>I fall for you<br>Over and over, over and over  
>I try not to<br>Over and over, over and over  
>You make me fall for you<br>Over and over, over and over  
>You don't even try-"<p>

They both sang the next verse, with a renewed intensity. Even Logan, who was at the moment physically incapable of really feeling anything, seemed to rally the energy for the next verse. Julian, on the other hand, closed his eyes and just belted it out. It didn't matter if Logan heard him because in his current condition there was just no way Logan could understand.

"So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head  
>I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead<br>I know what's best for me  
>But I want you instead<br>I'll keep on wasting all my time-"

Julian thought of those nights he lay in his trailer, waiting to shoot whatever movie he had scooped up just to get away from Dalton. He remembered how he wished he was back at school with friends who didn't care he was a celebrity. How he wished he could see Logan, but knew he wasn't strong enough to see him with someone else. Still, he always came back, because he also wasn't strong enough to stay away.

"Over and over, over and over  
>I fall for you<br>Over and over, over and over  
>I try not to<br>Over and over, over and over  
>You make me fall for you<br>Over and over, over and over  
>You don't even try to…"<p>

Their voices trailed off and silence reigned in the room for a few minutes. Julian stared at his hands, fidgeting slightly, but Logan just stared off with a far-away look in his eyes. Finally, he spoke.

"You know Jules…" he began, and Julian stared at him, eyes wide and heart racing. Logan looked at him and smiled, actually _smiled_, and Julian's heart skipped a beat.

"That actually really helped," Logan finished, standing. Julian only let himself stare for another few seconds before he looked away, nodding noncommittally. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth, unsure of what to do or say and fearing that if he didn't let himself calm down he would ruin everything.

"Thanks, Jules." Logan's soft voice made Julian look back up at him, craning his neck almost uncomfortable to accommodate for the fact that Logan was so tall and Julian was still seated at the bench.

"For what?" Julian asked, bewildered. Still with that small smile on his face, Logan shrugged.

"Always being there for me," he said simply. "I'm just lucky to have a friend like you, that's all."

Those kind words pierced Julian like a knife, but, true to his career as an actor, he managed to chuckle and shrug indifferently.

"Hey, that's what friends are for," he said. Logan nodded, then turned and left, leaving Julian alone at the piano, the tinny sound of the song, still on repeat, playing through his headphones.


End file.
